Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy

It was short and sweet.  “Good bye, I can’t take the abuse anymore”, and with an about-face I stomped off to meet my new love.

Yes, I’m one of those. I dropped one for the other. Oh don’t be too critical of me until you hear my story.

You see I’ve been trying my best to be faithful and committed.  I’ve invested time, money, and heart and soul.  But no matter how much I tried I always walked away hurt. Sometimes the pain would linger for days, even weeks. We did not seek professional help, but I have spent countless hours reading what experts had to say about our kind of situation and what they suggested for healing.

Some suggested taking a break. So we took “breaks”, but we never failed to fall right back into the same pattern, and you guessed it, me walking away in pain.

My summer was a season of mixed emotions. I was able to enjoy my granddaughters’ annual visit, but I must admit, I just wasn’t myself. I had pulled back from my love and it proved difficult.

Unable to resist temptation any longer I made the choice to spend one afternoon together. It was a great day, but when my daughter found out about it, she was all over me.  I argued my point of view with her again and asked that she just let me enjoy the beautiful day I had had, but deep down I knew she was right and I started giving a permanent break up serious thought.

Separation is difficult, especially the initial stage. Over time one gets stronger, and I was lucky enough to have my girls here with me to keep me company, but summer is merely a season and although I was sprinkled with dashes of their love, it was just a few weeks before they too were gone.

After watching my girls ascend to 5,000 something feet I pulled away. I wasn’t out of the parking lot when sadness came upon me, it always does. “I’ll see them in the fall” I tell myself, and I turn up the radio to block out the noises in my head.

 It’s been weeks since the girls left and I have remained strong. However, I’m tired, kind-of depressed and I’ve put on a few pounds.  I know what I need to do.  I need to stop toying with this separation ordeal and make it final. I have to look my love in the face and say goodbye, and mean it, before I can start anew. It’s a difficult decision.  I really was willing to go the distance, but how can I endure when the relationship causes such debilitating pain? I’m tired of hurting! Yet I know I can’t quit cold turkey. So after much contemplation I made what I think to be a wise and educated decision. I replaced my love with another! That’s right. I found a new love first. I found one that supports me, takes me places, and doesn't leave me to do all the work. My new love is strong and moves at a pace that I’m comfortable with, and I have to admit after only a few dates, I have no pain, and I'm feeling great, as-well-as energized!

It wasn’t easy, but I finally stood my ground. I wasn’t even nervous.  I simply grabbed my running shoes by the laces and said, “I can’t take the abuse!”  “My feet can run no more” and with a sad heart I said, “Goodbye running shoes”.

 “Hello bicycle!”