Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy

It was short and sweet.  “Good bye, I can’t take the abuse anymore”, and with an about-face I stomped off to meet my new love.

Yes, I’m one of those. I dropped one for the other. Oh don’t be too critical of me until you hear my story.

You see I’ve been trying my best to be faithful and committed.  I’ve invested time, money, and heart and soul.  But no matter how much I tried I always walked away hurt. Sometimes the pain would linger for days, even weeks. We did not seek professional help, but I have spent countless hours reading what experts had to say about our kind of situation and what they suggested for healing.

Some suggested taking a break. So we took “breaks”, but we never failed to fall right back into the same pattern, and you guessed it, me walking away in pain.

My summer was a season of mixed emotions. I was able to enjoy my granddaughters’ annual visit, but I must admit, I just wasn’t myself. I had pulled back from my love and it proved difficult.

Unable to resist temptation any longer I made the choice to spend one afternoon together. It was a great day, but when my daughter found out about it, she was all over me.  I argued my point of view with her again and asked that she just let me enjoy the beautiful day I had had, but deep down I knew she was right and I started giving a permanent break up serious thought.

Separation is difficult, especially the initial stage. Over time one gets stronger, and I was lucky enough to have my girls here with me to keep me company, but summer is merely a season and although I was sprinkled with dashes of their love, it was just a few weeks before they too were gone.

After watching my girls ascend to 5,000 something feet I pulled away. I wasn’t out of the parking lot when sadness came upon me, it always does. “I’ll see them in the fall” I tell myself, and I turn up the radio to block out the noises in my head.

 It’s been weeks since the girls left and I have remained strong. However, I’m tired, kind-of depressed and I’ve put on a few pounds.  I know what I need to do.  I need to stop toying with this separation ordeal and make it final. I have to look my love in the face and say goodbye, and mean it, before I can start anew. It’s a difficult decision.  I really was willing to go the distance, but how can I endure when the relationship causes such debilitating pain? I’m tired of hurting! Yet I know I can’t quit cold turkey. So after much contemplation I made what I think to be a wise and educated decision. I replaced my love with another! That’s right. I found a new love first. I found one that supports me, takes me places, and doesn't leave me to do all the work. My new love is strong and moves at a pace that I’m comfortable with, and I have to admit after only a few dates, I have no pain, and I'm feeling great, as-well-as energized!

It wasn’t easy, but I finally stood my ground. I wasn’t even nervous.  I simply grabbed my running shoes by the laces and said, “I can’t take the abuse!”  “My feet can run no more” and with a sad heart I said, “Goodbye running shoes”.

 “Hello bicycle!”

Teachers, I Give A Care.

(Note to readers. I wrote this months ago and have just transferred this to my Just Saying page)

I don't know a lot about all of this stuff, what I do know is that our government misspends, and mishandles money. They are the ones who should take responsibility for the mess we are in. In California they have found that over the last two years our government has spent 7.2 million on "gifts", like key chains and other ridiculous items to give out for the heck of it! They are referred to as SWAG - Stuff We All Get! (Isn't that cute) Our new governor is removing that from the "budget". Pahleez. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there are many other areas where they can cut back without tapping into teachers and other hardworking, much needed and underpaid individuals.

My daughter- in- love, nephew and aunt are teachers. And I have a few friends that are teachers too. They are honest, hardworking people. These highly educated individuals have invested much time and money in earning their degrees, and they truly care about their classrooms. They are ALWAYS working. They bring it home, they grade papers and plan assignments well into the evening after their own kids are in bed, and I watch them on soccer fields doing the same. That's not to mention, Parent-Teacher Conferences, Back to School Night, Open House and concerts they must attend.

I think it was Thursday or Friday when I heard John of "John and Ken" imply that the teachers striking in Madison were doing so because, in his words, "They don't give a crap about your kids!". I was outraged! I thought to myself, we (some of the people and the government)  are the ones who don't give a crap otherwise we would treat and pay them like they were doing something we value!!! I could go on- and- on but suffice it to say, I support any drastic measures teachers (not unions) but teachers take.

Just Saying

The Devil Made Me Do It! Or Did He?

I know temptation is all around us.  The temptation to over eat, and to over spend are just a couple of things I have to personally come against on a regular basis. We all rush around from one thing to the next,  and in our daily travels people cut us off, tempting us to pull up along-side and give them the “what the” look. They move too slow, tempting us to honk viciously because we want to make the next light. And some talk too much, tempting us to turn the other cheek because we just don’t have time for idle chit-chat. Someone insults or offends us and we’re tempted to not only cling onto the offense, but we’re also tempted to share the dirty little offense that’s been done to us.

For the most part the temptations I’ve listed above are minor, and fact is, I really can’t blame the devil for my eating half a pack of my favorite Girl Scout cookies instead of eating just one or two cookies, but the Bible does make it clear that temptation can and will come from the devil. The first successful attack of temptation is found in Genesis. And then there was the infamous attack on Jesus (Luke 4:1-13) where Satan tries his best to trip Jesus up with one temptation after another.  Satan is, however, unsuccessful in his endeavor because Jesus knows the Word of God.

There are layers of incredible lessons in these verses, but let’s just take a look at a few of the obvious ones. First, notice in verse 4:2, “Afterward He hungered” (He hadn’t eaten in forty days). And Satan, knowing this, is right there tempting Jesus with, of all things, bread! Satan is dirty, he knows our weak spots and he will attack.

Jesus, once again sets the stage for us, he is prepared and unwavering as He responds with, “It is written, that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God” verse 4:4.  Jesus addresses something of much more importance, not our natural hunger, but our spiritual hunger. He is “full” of the Word. Are you? I have to ask myself this very question every time I read these passages. Am I full of the word? Am I able to withstand whatever the devil brings my way? Just as it is not wise for me to walk the grocery store on a hungry stomach, it is not wise that I walk the world on a hungry spirit.

Finally, verse 4:13, “And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he (the devil) departed from him (Jesus) for a season”. Take note, “for a season!”  -  Newer translations say, “until an opportune time”. In other words,   “He’ll be baaaaack!”  You can count on it.
Remember, it is “an opportune time” that the devil is looking for.  Furthermore, he not only tempts us to do wrong , or lead us astray, but seriously, I’m convinced that it is he who tempts me to do NOTHING at all! God puts something on my heart and I cave into fatigue, too many other things to do, and worse yet I listen to the negative thoughts that fill my mind with inadequacies and then instead of MOVING  …  I do nothing!  

If the devil gets his way and we do nothing he wins and the lives that God wants to touch and change through us will not happen. If the devil gets his way and we never open a Bible, attend church, or never pray for a personal relationship with Christ, the devil wins. But, what if we do open the Bible, go to church, and pray for a relationship with Christ? And, what if we do keep ourselves full of “every word of God”?

And what if we do   …  MOVE  …   at Gods prompting?  

Just Saying